For Me, Another Delay; For Him, Perfect Timing, As Always

I have hesitated writing much on this blog of late because I kept hoping I would have something “more” to write.  After many meetings and blessed conversations and encouragements regarding my financial situation and eventual resolution of my debt, all has grown quiet as we entered Lent. 

I am in constant contact with my novice mistress and we have discerned that the June date is evidently not God’s timing for my entering the cloister.  We are prayerful about setting another date and hope God will reveal it to be sooner rather than later.  But His timing is perfect, as always, and I find this to be a good test of faith, perseverance, humility, and obedience.

Over the course of my discernment, I have spoken with many religious and when I asked, what is the hardest part of religious life, most have answered this way: “obedience and community.”  Why?  Because you are required to turn over your own will in a particular way.  The aim: to be made holy in humility and charity toward God and others.

This Lent, one of the books I am reading is “The Art of Loving God” by St. Francis de Sales.  In it, he has this to say about obedience:

We shall have quite soon enough what we desire, whenever we have it, and whenever it pleases God to give it to us.  Waiting and resignation are very necessary for the want of them disturbs the soul greatly.  We must be contented to know that we are doing our duty regarding those who are over us, not seeking for any satisfaction or knowledge of things in particular, but walking blindfolded, as it were, in firm reliance on the Providence of God, even in the midst of desolation, fears, gloom, and every other sort of cross that it may please Him to send us.  Give yourself up, then, wholly and completely to His guidance, without any reserve or exception whatsoever, and leave Him to act, confiding all the care of body and soul to His goodness, remaining always completely resigned, composed, and resting in God, under the guidance of those in authority over you, without any care but to obey.

I continue to ask for your prayerful support.  I have confidence that each day brings me closer to Him.  And the desire I have to give myself to Him fully in prayer and contemplation as a Dominican nun grows each day as well. 

For stern as death is love,
relentless as the nether world is devotion;
its flames are a blazing fire.
~Song of Songs 8:6

Comments

  1. Dear Tara,
    You are right! God’s timing is always the perfect timing. The Lord is surely trying your your steadfastness, obedience and perseverance. It’s a good preparation and training for one planning to enter religious life. When the designated time for you to enter has come, you will be ready for the life. I pray for you each time I go before the Lord. Courage!

    My love and prayers,
    SMCatherine,OP

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