The Season of Waiting & Hopeful Expectation

I hope you all had a blessed and happy Thanksgiving!  Not much has changed from my last update – I continue to stay focused, praying and working hard to chip away at my debt.  By God’s generous grace, I continue to make small steps.  In the meantime, I also strive to grow and learn in faith and enjoy each moment I have, especially with my family and friends.

As we enter the Advent season, I am drawn to think on our Blessed Mother and God’s people – the quiet waiting, with hopeful expectation – not knowing exactly how God will bring things to fruition, but having confidence, in His time, for His glory and our good, He will.

A New Post at My “Sister” Blog

To my dear friends and supporters~

Time has flown by since my last post!  I’m still here, taking one step forward at a time.  I am enjoying my work and blessed to be able to continue to make steady financial strides.  It remains a challenge when I think about the potential future years it may take, but I’m prayerful that God will continue to provide in His time.

In the meantime, because I want to keep this blog focused on my vocation discernment and progress, I have decided to blog on other topics at an older blog site I started before this one.  I recently posted some thoughts on today’s feast – the exaltation of the cross, which can be found at: www.heresytohabit.wordpress.com.  God bless!

Still Here

A happy feast of St. Mary Magdalene! 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update to this blog.  Since my last post, I started a new job!  I’m doing work I enjoy and the people are wonderful.  I am truly blessed!  And once more I am able to make significant progress in paying down my debt.  Nonetheless, without other financial support, it will take me at least four years to be debt-free, and therefore free to pursue my vocation. 

Once more I ask you to keep me in prayer and consider supporting vocations by giving to the Laboure Society in my honor.  I will continue to post updates as I have news to share, so do not take my silence as a lack of perseverance or change of course.  Rather, I am focused on what God has for me this day and the peace and joy He has given me in doing His will.

A side note about today’s saint: For those of you who don’t know, St. Mary Magdalene has long been called the “Apostle to the Apostles”.  Why?  Because she was the first person to whom Jesus appeared after His resurrection and she is the one who was sent to proclaim “He is risen!” to the apostles.  As such, she is a co-patroness of the Dominican Order.  Some time after Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, tradition holds she and other followers of Christ were imprisoned and set out to sea in a boat with no oars and eventually landed in Gaul.  There, she retreated to a cave in the mountains and spent the rest of her days in prayer and solitude.  For more on St. Mary Magdalene, the tradition regarding her life in what is now France and how her relics came under the protection of the Dominican Order, go to www.magdalenepublishing.org.

St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us.

Catholic San Francisco, Knights of Columbus and Humble Gratitude

Two wonderful lessons I’ve learned throughout my discernment are a deeper humility and gratitude toward God and those who have stepped forward in support of my vocation.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the Alaska Knights of Columbus have invited me to be present and meet with their delegates as they arrive for the state convention tomorrow.  Also, George Raine, the reporter with Catholic San Francisco who first contacted me for an interview in January, recontacted me a couple weeks ago asking to do an update on my vocation story.  You can read the article here: http://catholic-sf.org/news_select.php?newsid=27&id=58541.

There have been many others who have been and continue to be supportive and have made various contributions of support on my behalf, whether by direct financial support and/or a willingness to network on my behalf (and some plans that are still in the works, which hopefully I will be able to share with you soon).  Thank you, Jesus, for your grace and the generosity of your people in prayers and deeds.  Keep us in your divine will – this weekend, as we remember World Day of Prayer for Vocations, raise up many new workers for the harvest and inspire your people to provide the encouragement and support they need to freely pursue and fully live out their vocations.

Interview: When Debt Cripples a Vocation

Cy Laurent, director of the Laboure Society, was recently interviewed for an article in the online singles magazine, Tobias regarding educational debt and its effect on vocations today, as well as the work that Laboure Society is doing to free aspirants from debt so they may pursue their vocation.  The full interview article, which was reprinted by Catholic Digest, can be found here.

St. Catherine Laboure, pray for us.

New Life

Alleluia!  Christ is risen!!  This time of year has become one of my favorites, for many reasons.  The air is perfumed with new life – flowers and grasses, incense and chrism oil.  The Church rejoices in the resurrection of the Bridegroom, Savior, and King and the addition to our Church family of many new brothers and sisters who entered the Church at Easter vigil.  Many graces overflow and bubble through the hearts of Christians and the whole earth seems to join heaven in triumphant song.

It also brings up many memories of grace when God has touched my life, calling me to a deeper walk with Him.  I too entered into full communion with the Catholic Church at Easter vigil and as I see the radiant joy in the faces of those entering this year, I cannot help but recall my own feelings when I was standing in their shoes.  It was at Pentecost when I interviewed with the council of the Dominican nuns at Corpus Christi Monastery to request entrance as an aspirant and almost a year later, I entered the monastery for my aspirancy.

The Church teaches that each person when baptized is called to holiness.  God, having made us and knowing us better than we know ourselves, then calls us to a particular vocation to grow in holiness and charity toward one another.  So it seems quite appropriate that three weeks after Easter, when so many were baptized into a life of grace and that call to holiness, that the Church gives us a day to pray for vocations.  This year, the World Day of Prayer for Vocations takes place on Sunday, May 15^th.  At my home parish, we are coordinating a 40 Hour Adoration for Vocations, starting May 13^th and ending May 15^th.  Check out your local parish – is there something you can do to encourage prayer and awareness of vocations that day (and even beyond)?

That same weekend, I have also been invited by the Knights of Columbus to be present and available to speak with delegates about my vocation at the opening day of their Alaska State Convention.  And, after a silent Lent of work and prayer, there are other stirrings too as a couple other individuals have made contact about my vocation again.  Please continue your prayers for me – I remain joyfully hopeful that the Risen Lord can and will provide in His time.  Peace and blessings from our Risen Lord to you this Easter Season!

For Me, Another Delay; For Him, Perfect Timing, As Always

I have hesitated writing much on this blog of late because I kept hoping I would have something “more” to write.  After many meetings and blessed conversations and encouragements regarding my financial situation and eventual resolution of my debt, all has grown quiet as we entered Lent. 

I am in constant contact with my novice mistress and we have discerned that the June date is evidently not God’s timing for my entering the cloister.  We are prayerful about setting another date and hope God will reveal it to be sooner rather than later.  But His timing is perfect, as always, and I find this to be a good test of faith, perseverance, humility, and obedience.

Over the course of my discernment, I have spoken with many religious and when I asked, what is the hardest part of religious life, most have answered this way: “obedience and community.”  Why?  Because you are required to turn over your own will in a particular way.  The aim: to be made holy in humility and charity toward God and others.

This Lent, one of the books I am reading is “The Art of Loving God” by St. Francis de Sales.  In it, he has this to say about obedience:

We shall have quite soon enough what we desire, whenever we have it, and whenever it pleases God to give it to us.  Waiting and resignation are very necessary for the want of them disturbs the soul greatly.  We must be contented to know that we are doing our duty regarding those who are over us, not seeking for any satisfaction or knowledge of things in particular, but walking blindfolded, as it were, in firm reliance on the Providence of God, even in the midst of desolation, fears, gloom, and every other sort of cross that it may please Him to send us.  Give yourself up, then, wholly and completely to His guidance, without any reserve or exception whatsoever, and leave Him to act, confiding all the care of body and soul to His goodness, remaining always completely resigned, composed, and resting in God, under the guidance of those in authority over you, without any care but to obey.

I continue to ask for your prayerful support.  I have confidence that each day brings me closer to Him.  And the desire I have to give myself to Him fully in prayer and contemplation as a Dominican nun grows each day as well. 

For stern as death is love,
relentless as the nether world is devotion;
its flames are a blazing fire.
~Song of Songs 8:6

An Evening with Knights

Tonight the Knights of Columbus Our Lady of the Snows Council in Anchorage hosted an evening of fellowship for Knights, their families and any others who wanted to join them.  What a wonderful evening!  Together we prayed the Rosary, celebrated Mass and shared a meal in the parish hall.  Yesterday afternoon, the Knights asked if I wanted to share my vocation story during the meal.  Normally I avoid all public speaking, especially if I have less than one day to prepare, but I accepted the opportunity and said a prayer God would give me the words.

He is ever faithful!  Afterward, I was humbled and blessed by the words and acts of affirmation and support and I am more appreciative than ever of the Knights of Columbus and the charity and service they do for the Church and local community.  May God continue to richly bless them and their families in all their endeavors!

Message from Pope Benedict: Proposing Vocations for the Local Church

Today, Pope Benedict’s message for the 48th World Day of Prayer for Vocations was released by the Vatican.  The 48th World Day of Prayer for Vocations is the fourth Sunday of Easter (May 15, 2011).  This year’s theme is “Proposing Vocations in the Local Church” and Pope Benedict beautifully describes some aspects of priestly and religious vocations, their importance, and providing steps for fostering and promoting vocations.

“Vocations to the ministerial priesthood and to the consecrated life are first and foremost the fruit of constant contact with the living God and insistent prayer lifted up to the ‘Lord of the harvest’, whether in parish communities, in Christian families or in groups specifically devoted to prayer for vocations.”  He goes on to say, “The Lord does not fail to call people at every stage of life to share in his mission and to serve the Church in the ordained ministry and in the consecrated life…  Particularly in these times, when the voice of the Lord seems to be drowned out by ‘other voices’ and his invitation to follow him by the gift of one’s own life may seem too difficult, every Christian community, every member of the Church, needs consciously to feel responsibility for promoting vocations. It is important to encourage and support those who show clear signs of a call to priestly life and religious consecration, and to enable hem to feel the warmth of the whole community as they respond ‘yes’ to God and the Church.”

He concludes with, “The ability to foster vocations is a hallmark of the vitality of a local Church. With trust and perseverance let us invoke the aid of the Virgin Mary, that by the example of her own acceptance of God’s saving plan and her powerful intercession, every community will be more and more open to saying ‘yes’ to the Lord who is constantly calling new labourers to his harvest.”

There is much more, from encouragement to work in unity with priests and bishops and promoting vocations within families, catechesis programs, parishes, and other avenues of faith formation.  For the entire message, go to: http://www.radiovaticana.org/EN1/Articolo.asp?c=461157.

Water, Water, Everywhere

There are few things on Earth that hold gentleness and power, simplicity and meaning like water. Water covers 70% of our planet and has the power to kill and bring life. We enjoy hot springs, hot showers, hot baths. Yet it can also erode canyons into solid rock and bring rich nutrients to barren soil. The depths of the sea provide sustenance, but can also destroy boats and any land creatures who dare go out too far without proper precaution.

Water also has great purpose and meaning in our spiritual life. Throughout salvation history, God has used water to bring life and death. He brought forth water in desolate places and dried up vast springs and rivers. He divided the Red Sea for His people, the Israelites, to cross to safety, while that same sea killed the Egyptians when it crashed down upon them. It is in the saving waters of baptism that we are marked as one of God’s own and brought into the family of the Church. Tomorrow, we remember in particular Our Lady and some of the most famous waters in the world – that of Lourdes. A land once dry burst forth with springs at the presence of Our Lady. Now people flock to Lourdes to bathe in the waters and in the hope of receiving a miracle of healing. God uses water to bring cleansing and newness to our soiled, ill, and weary bodies and souls.

There are two “water” stories from the Gospels that keep coming to my mind at this time. The first is when Jesus sent His disciples on ahead of Him in a boat after a long day of being with the crowds. Jesus went to pray in solitude, then looked out on the water and saw His disciples struggling in a storm. Interestingly, Jesus waited until the fourth watch before walking out on the water toward them. His disciples saw Him and were frightened, so He got in the boat and calmed the sea.

The second is of another “walking on water” experience, this time with Peter. As many of you likely remember, the disciples were again in a boat and Jesus on the shore. Peter asked Jesus to call him over, which He did. Peter then hopped out of the boat and began to walk across the waves. However, he made the fatal mistake of lowering his eyes to the water that surrounded him and started to fear…and sink. But Jesus grabbed him at the last moment and brought him to safety.

So what does this have to do with my vocation? Well, over the last few weeks, it has become increasingly tempting for me to focus on the waves and lose sight of Him who has called me. These are tough economic times and, as an attorney, my business (and consequently income) has slowed to a mere trickle. God has opened up an opportunity for me to work part-time as a teaching assistant for a wonderful Catholic school, which is a tremendous experience and has brought many blessings, but in terms of paying down my debt, progress has stalled. I continue to be richly blessed by prayers and donations of friends and others who have given generously from their limited resources. I am humbled by words of encouragement and support and prayers from so many, especially the nuns at Corpus Christi Monastery, the Laboure Society, the Serra Club in Menlo Park, CA and many members of the Knights of Columbus…but the waves of total remaining debt still loom, especially as June 8^th draws ever closer.

Today the novice mistress at Corpus Christi Monastery also reminded me of Jesus multiplying the loaves and fishes. From these seeds of support and prayer, we firmly believe God will bring forth abundant fruit. So, too, though the waves of doubt may threaten, we continue to believe God will be faithful to lead through the waters and the needed provision will come forward, like a spring from dry ground, to accomplish His will in His timing.